EDITOR’S NOTE:

Note: Don’t take this too seriously, and ladies – I’m not leaving you out, but aren’t you tired of hearing “He’s Just Not Into You”?

Guys, listen up. For too long you have been pushed around with false hopes and false promises. I’m here to give you a quick dose of reality, and let you know sometimes, things aren’t going to work out, and maybe She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.

Here are five of the most common signs. If you come across one of these, take a deep breath, suck it up and accept that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be – this time around.

“I Like It, But Sometimes I Don’t Notice Your Blog In My Reader…”

No. This is never true. There’s no excuse for not seeing your blog in a reader. I have hundreds RSS feeds, but do you think I miss one episode of Blogopolis Blueprint? Do you think there is a single article onMotivate Thyself or Writer Dad I don’t read? Not a chance. Unless I’m out in the wilderness and away from my laptop, you know I check out what’s new with Eric and Sean.

If she’s really into your blog, I guarantee you she will find your updates. She’ll put them in a separate folder. She’ll sign up for email updates so they come straight to her inbox. She’ll follow you on Twitter and wait for your tweets about new posts, and if all that fails she’ll come to your website if she hasn’t seen you write anything in a week. If she wants to read your blog, she will make it happen.

On the other hand. if she says she just has too many items in her Google Reader and doesn’t notice yours, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.

“I Put It On My To Read List”

Have you ever had this conversation with a “subscriber” -
“Did you see my latest post last week?”
“Oh yeah it was great.”
“Really? You liked it? I worked really hard on it. I think the point about ZenHabits being like a weed was probably the best line.”
“Oh um, well, it’s actually on my todo list in delicious, but I always read them and watch the videos!”

LIES! If I put something on my todo list, I get to it in a couple days. Any longer than that and it’ll go stale, and I probably won’t read it. In fact, if I really enjoy someone’s blog, I don’t even put items on my todo list – I just sit there and do things the old fashioned way – I read the post.

If someone hasn’t read your post in a week, they probably aren’t reading it period. How often do you go back and read posts from a blog that are 2 or 3 weeks old, unless it was a reference post or some kind of tutorial?

Guys, I know it’s hard to hear, but trust me: if she says she’s too busy right now, but your posts are on her “todo” list, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.

“I Just Read, I Don’t Comment”

I’ll admit it, I’m guilty of this myself – I don’t always comment here on the Blueprint, but Eric and Sean know I read it. They know because I Stumble it, I Tweet it, I email them feedback, and I make references to their previous posts. I may not always comment here because by the time I watch the videos there are 20 comments and everyone has said everything that needs to be said – but I still make comments and that’s what counts.

Besides I’m the exception, not the rule. Everyone else? They’re the rule. Sure not everyone comments, and that’s fine – but if she says she’s one of your loyal fans, she loves all your posts, and yet isn’t commenting, then something’s not right. You post 5 times a week, and she has no feedback to give you – in the comments, over email, or on twitter? Who reads dozens or hundreds of posts and comes away with no opinions and nothing to say?

I hate to break it to you, but if she hasn’t left a comment in 6 months, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog

“I Just Haven’t Updated My Blog Roll Lately”

Look, reciprocal linking for SEO is so 2005, but this isn’t about SEO – it’s about mutual respect. I link out and tweet blogs I enjoy reading, and I tell my friends about it. I’m not ashamed to guest post and let people know I think The Blueprint rocks. Is Sean on Eric’s Blogroll? Is Eric on Sean’s? Of course. They’re a team, they back each other up and they each believe in what the other is doing.

We’re all in this together, and we associate with other bloggers we like and respect. Your blogroll defines who you are, and who you believe in and support.

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What is a Tribe?

“A tribe is a group of people connected to one another, connected to a leader, and connected to an idea.[...] A group needs only two things to be a tribe: a shared interest and a way to communicate.” – Tribes, by Seth Godin

My fellow readers, all of us belong to tribes, whether we realize it or not. Tribes of Wordpress users, tribes of lifehackers, tribes of writers.

Here at Blogopolis Blueprint we make up a tribe interested in having our voices heard. We communicate in the comments, and the discussions we have add greatly to the already excellent experience.

Sean and Eric have done a great job of leading and nurturing this community. This brings us to the crux of this article – how can I nurture my own blog’s tribe?

How Can You Build Your Blog’s Tribe

“I found my people and nothing else matters” – Third Eye Blind

I’ve been growing my tribe since day one on my blog. I genuinely care about my readers and nurture my relationship with them. Here are a few tips that may help you build your tribe as well:

• Respond to comments. Readers love hearing from the blogger. Even readers who don’t comment see the discussions and “lurk” in the community. Set the example for future members to follow by build a welcoming community for your tribe.

• Focus on nurturing your current readers, not attracting new ones. One great point Seth Godin makes in Tribes is that for all the bands trying to sell millions of records, there are a number of artists making a living by focusing on 1000 true fans. In order to gain true fans though, you’ve got to nurture every one and give them the best you have to offer. You’ve got to focus on the readers of today – not on trying to get a new wave through social media or advertising. Those true fans will evangelize you, submit your blog on social media sites, tweet your new posts and email their friends. You can’t buy that kind of loyalty – you have to earn it.

• Write about what truly matters to your tribe. I write articles on topics my readers are interested in. When my readers ask a question, I answer honestly and to the best of my ability as I did when asked for my recommendations about the best personal development books. Too often a blog I used to enjoy will degenerate into random ramblings, or perhaps start chasing social media sites with fluff articles. If the leader of that tribe doesn’t speak to me, I’ll leave.

• Visit the tribe where they gather. I know members of my tribe visit other websites, so I join them there as well. I interact with them on other life hacking and personal development forums and blogs. Seeing me there legitimizes me as a member of the tribe. Giving unselfishly in forum posts and comments provides value for everyone – and builds my own brand. Visit ProBlogger or Zenhabits sometime, and you’ll see Eric and Sean are active participants on just about any discussion.

• Speak to the tribe from any soap box. I’ll speak anywhere, anytime, to reach out to members of my tribe. I guest post whenever the opportunity presents itself, and have spoken at conferences and seminars on topics such as time management in my community. Darren Rowse and Leo Babauta spoke to Eric since he’s a fantastic blogger, but they also know their readers gather here and would love to see them in a new setting.

The bottom line is, there are no shortcuts. Building your tribe takes time, sincerity, and leading your followers. Every blog begins day one with just one reader – you (or in my case, two – me and my mom!). From there on out, it’s up to you to write about what matters, respond to your readers and provide real value to your tribe.

How about you? What are you doing to build, nurture, and lead your tribe?

This is a guest post from Sid Savara, who discusses personal development and personal productivity at SidSavara.com. If you’re curious if Sid’s blog is right for you, click through to read some of Sid’s most popular articles .

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