She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog
EDITOR’S NOTE: Today we have a guest post from Sid Savara, who discusses personal development and personal productivity at SidSavara.com
Note: Don’t take this too seriously, and ladies – I’m not leaving you out, but aren’t you tired of hearing “He’s Just Not Into You”?
Guys, listen up. For too long you have been pushed around with false hopes and false promises. I’m here to give you a quick dose of reality, and let you know sometimes, things aren’t going to work out, and maybe She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.
Here are five of the most common signs. If you come across one of these, take a deep breath, suck it up and accept that sometimes things just aren’t meant to be – this time around.
“I Like It, But Sometimes I Don’t Notice Your Blog In My Reader…”
No. This is never true. There’s no excuse for not seeing your blog in a reader. I have hundreds RSS feeds, but do you think I miss one episode of Blogopolis Blueprint? Do you think there is a single article onMotivate Thyself or Writer Dad I don’t read? Not a chance. Unless I’m out in the wilderness and away from my laptop, you know I check out what’s new with Eric and Sean.
If she’s really into your blog, I guarantee you she will find your updates. She’ll put them in a separate folder. She’ll sign up for email updates so they come straight to her inbox. She’ll follow you on Twitter and wait for your tweets about new posts, and if all that fails she’ll come to your website if she hasn’t seen you write anything in a week. If she wants to read your blog, she will make it happen.
On the other hand. if she says she just has too many items in her Google Reader and doesn’t notice yours, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.
“I Put It On My To Read List”
Have you ever had this conversation with a “subscriber” -
“Did you see my latest post last week?”
“Oh yeah it was great.”
“Really? You liked it? I worked really hard on it. I think the point about ZenHabits being like a weed was probably the best line.”
“Oh um, well, it’s actually on my todo list in delicious, but I always read them and watch the videos!”
LIES! If I put something on my todo list, I get to it in a couple days. Any longer than that and it’ll go stale, and I probably won’t read it. In fact, if I really enjoy someone’s blog, I don’t even put items on my todo list – I just sit there and do things the old fashioned way – I read the post.
If someone hasn’t read your post in a week, they probably aren’t reading it period. How often do you go back and read posts from a blog that are 2 or 3 weeks old, unless it was a reference post or some kind of tutorial?
Guys, I know it’s hard to hear, but trust me: if she says she’s too busy right now, but your posts are on her “todo” list, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog.
“I Just Read, I Don’t Comment”
I’ll admit it, I’m guilty of this myself – I don’t always comment here on the Blueprint, but Eric and Sean know I read it. They know because I Stumble it, I Tweet it, I email them feedback, and I make references to their previous posts. I may not always comment here because by the time I watch the videos there are 20 comments and everyone has said everything that needs to be said – but I still make comments and that’s what counts.
Besides I’m the exception, not the rule. Everyone else? They’re the rule. Sure not everyone comments, and that’s fine – but if she says she’s one of your loyal fans, she loves all your posts, and yet isn’t commenting, then something’s not right. You post 5 times a week, and she has no feedback to give you – in the comments, over email, or on twitter? Who reads dozens or hundreds of posts and comes away with no opinions and nothing to say?
I hate to break it to you, but if she hasn’t left a comment in 6 months, She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog
“I Just Haven’t Updated My Blog Roll Lately”
Look, reciprocal linking for SEO is so 2005, but this isn’t about SEO – it’s about mutual respect. I link out and tweet blogs I enjoy reading, and I tell my friends about it. I’m not ashamed to guest post and let people know I think The Blueprint rocks. Is Sean on Eric’s Blogroll? Is Eric on Sean’s? Of course. They’re a team, they back each other up and they each believe in what the other is doing.
We’re all in this together, and we associate with other bloggers we like and respect. Your blogroll defines who you are, and who you believe in and support.
“Really? I Could Have Sworn I Linked To No Pants Friday …”
Links are the currency of the web. Just like a blogroll, they show a certain level of respect – but even more importantly, a link inside a post shows that I trust your writing. It means I trust you enough to tell my readers “Hey, if you like this article, there’s a whole other world of deeper information out there that you might like – and it’s in this post.” I link to the Blueprint all the time in my Twitter microblog and I definitely want to expose my readers and followers to this site.
If she promised you some link love, but you’ve got nothing in your trackbacks, then… (you know what’s coming) – She’s Just Not That Into Your Blog
Thanks Eric and Sean for letting me having some fun and put this out there. If you’re interested in making sure people do get into your blog, there’s no better place than the Blueprint.
If you’re interested in getting people more into you, you might be interested in some personal development and productivity over at SidSavara.com. Wish you could make videos as well as Sean and Eric? Speaking in Public: A Step-By-Step Guide to Overcome Public Speaking Anxiety may be just what you’re looking for.
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Excellent post, Sid.
I loved this kind of sarcastic, witty side of you. Haven’t seen much of it before.
Your thoughts about people commenting is interesting. With 260 subscribers on my blog, only about 10 of them actively comment on a regular basis. That kind of percentage seems to be quite common on most blogs.
Yet I’ll sometimes get people who come out of the woodwork after being subscribed for six or 12 months. They have never wrote a comment, emailed me etc. For all I knew, they didn’t exist. Yet they come out after 6 or 12 months and say they have been reading “forever” and absolutely love my writing and blog.
So while I’m sure there are many who don’t comment and simply aren’t that interested, I’m sure there are plenty too who are exception to that rule, and simply don’t like to be in the public eye.
Thanks Sid!
Jamie
Jamie Harrop’s last blog post..Customer Service As Taught by My 9 Year Old Best Friend
Great post, Sid!
I recently had a massive clearout of most of the blogs in my feed reader, and you know something? The sky didn’t fall in and I saved hours, and I mean HOURS a day. One of the things I love about Blogopolis Blueprint is that it has always aimed to make people feel they’re part of a new, blossoming community. As a relatively new blog, the Blueprint genuinely wants folk to find their voices, to give sincere feedback and commentary. Whether readers are silent yet appreciative or daily commenters, I’m guessing we’re here, not just to sharpen our blogging skills and enjoy a good read, but because we love and respect Eric and Sean and what they’re achieving and offering here.
I stopped reading other blogs where my only reason for reading was that everyone else was and I didn’t want to feel like I was missing out. I come here, and enjoy guest posts like yours, because I like and learn from the folk who hang out here. ~Janice
Janice’s last blog post..IAC VOICE, Volume 4, Issue 33, February 2009, Circulation: 12,792
Much like Janice I too have been aggressively culling my feeds in Google Reader.
Maybe I too am the exception to the “read but don’t comment” rule. I mean I’ve been reading Problogger for years but I think I’ve commented about 3 times. While I can see how a regular commenter would equal a lifelong subscriber I don’t think a lack of commenting is indication otherwise, as Jamie said.
Marc’s last blog post..Open Discussion: Should We Under Promise and Over Deliver?
Hi Marc,
Do you find our UK timezone an advantage (we get up during Sean and Eric’s night-time) or a hindrance when you’re reading some of your favourite blogs? Maybe it’s because I don’t twitter – bad blogger, I know – but whenever I get a feed alert and go to a site, dozens of brilliant comments have already been left and the post loved from every angle!
Janice’s last blog post..IAC VOICE, Volume 4, Issue 33, February 2009, Circulation: 12,792
I don’t have a “to do” list and I don’t have a blog roll. I generally go through my unread items on my reader on at least a daily basis and often several times a day. I don’t read every post, but I do scan each post to see if it’s something I want to read fully. I generally only comment if there is something there that clicks with me.
It would probably be a good idea to go through and cull some of my feeds. However, I did that a few months ago and have since added several of those feeds back.
I suppose I’ll have to get organized and start a “to do” list, with creating a blog roll as the first item. I’ll try to get around to it soon. (Have I ever mentioned my tendency towards procrastination?)
Mike Goad’s last blog post..Wednesday Weigh-In March 11, 2009
Wow, I really like the Blueprint this week! Sid, this post is fantastic. I do agree with Jamie though, at least when it comes to WD. I have a lot of subscribers that I’ve never ever heard from and then I’ll get a random email from someone who tells me they’ve been reading forever and they’ll list their favorite posts. That always touches me. I do think that WD has a higher than normal percentage of non blogger readers though so maybe that makes a difference. Anyway, SUPER post, Sid. Thanks!
Writer Dad’s last blog post..Stop, Think, Take Action.
@Janice I’ve actually found being 5 or so hours ahead to be beneficial.
Most of the blogs I read are US based and they tend to put their posts live between 8 and 9 am as this appears to be the optimal time they’ve found for getting their posts read. Based on Central Time that would be around 1 to 2pm GMT
On a related note I tend to put my posts out around that time so that Sean can read my new post as he drinks his morning coffee
Eric and Sean, out of interest what times do you put your posts live on your various blogs?
Marc’s last blog post..Open Discussion: Should We Under Promise and Over Deliver?
@Everyone – Thanks for the comments and great discussion =)
@Jamie I definitely see your point about many subscribers being “lurkers.”
On my blog I see something similar where 5-10% of my subscribers actively comment, but that’s ok – those are the readers who I know are *really* into my blog =)
@Janice I’m with you! I clear out my feeds all the time…and then, just like Mike, I go back and add a bunch of them back in
@Marc Interesting. I have found that I am less likely to comment on larger blogs like problogger, where they know there is a huge readership – I tend to comment on posts with <20ish comments myself
@Mike I think you and me are on the same page with regards to the way we read stuff in our feed readers
. I have separate folders set up for “high priority, high quality” blogs like the Blueprint, and I typically read the posts all the way through. Sometimes I’ll comment, sometimes I’ll tweet, and sometimes I’ll just shoot Eric an email directly.
@Sean – Thanks! I really appreciate you guys giving me a soapbox
. I’m not sure which I like better – the personal emails or the comments. I’ll take both!
Now that you mention it Sid, that’s probably why I haven’t commented much as well.
Marc – WelshScribe’s last blog post..Site Problems
Loved this post, Sid! Great humor with a lot of truth. I especially like the part about the insanity of missing either one of Sean and I’s blog posts. I mean who would be THAT INSANE?!?!
Excellent job, my friend! Eric
I actually am an avid reader/fan of a fair number of blogs and almost never comment. Why? I read most of my blogs while I am waiting for phone calls at work, and my work has a strict websense filter- I can only read them through my feed reader. This gets in the way of making comments. I form opinions on pretty much everything I read, but it’s rare that those are so strong that I tag the post for a reply when I get home.
You’ll notice I am commenting here. It’s because I thought a lot of these criteria were just bad. You never know what is going on in a person’s life or what their circumstances are. I could think of an easy reason why any one of these could actually be true other than “my reader is lying to me”.
(Oh, and I don’t even write a blog currently, lest you think this evaluation is driven by self-delusion.
)
@Lilivati Interesting perspective =). From what everyone here has said, it looks like many don’t agree with my point on comments
.
I stand firm with it though – if I’m *really* into your blog, you’ll see me interacting on a level beyond just reading (one of the five I mention above). I don’t always comment, I don’t always stumble, I don’t always tweet, and I don’t *always* link – but if I enjoy a post or article sufficiently, you’ll usually see me doing at least one of those.
Of course, not everyone is like me, and you’re right – we don’t know what’s going on in a person’s life or their circumstances, and you’ve absolutely got me there